What's that you say? I've been waiting to attend this retreat for a year, what is another hour? While relatively speaking an hour doesn't matter much in the span of a year, but an extra minute of anticipation feels like a lifetime. So, relatively speaking, I've been waiting a lifetime to see you again.
Last year was my first at the retreat, bringing with it a rebirth of sorts. Last year I found a new family, a new sense of belonging, and I rediscovered myself. I was once a smiling, trusting, loving young person. But years of received cruelty and disillusionment changed me into someone I hardly recognized. Someone who was so cynical that she never went out of her way to make friends anymore. Someone who I didn't like at all.
Four days at the retreat changed all that. Four days, and I rediscovered this hopeful and energetic part of myself that I had locked up out of pain and frustration. It all started when I met you.
This year has been difficult. My contract at work ended, my mom's cancer resurfaced, and I had to leave my chosen city to return to live with my folks and take up the mantle of responsibility. It was you who helped me through it. You sent me prayers, love, light, laughter, and happiness. You made me cry regularly with how sweet and supportive you were. You probably wouldn't recognize me in a crowd, you only really remember my name because of Facebook – but that just makes it so much more beautiful. You don't know me, but you recognize me as a sister on the same path of self-discovery and acceptance, and that's all that matters.
So I sit here, my flight delayed an hour, and it's killing me because it's an hour less I have with you. The first five minutes of last year's retreat started me down a path that changed my life. Just imagine how I feel being deprived of your company for a whole hour.
No comments:
Post a Comment